Missed Moment!

Monday, January/16/2012

05:16 AM

Awake on 04:48 AM, i can't fall asleep again. I've a lot of questions for myself.

What makes me awake like this because what i've done last nite. Last nite i've just have dinner with his friends, and ends up with bad discussion with him.

The problem is Circumstances, Moment and Photo.

I knew he loves his identical biologist brother so much, and i've got mad with his brother about the pics, coz he took the camera.
Two days ago, exactly that nite, i'm feel upset also with him, jut left me behind and gone with one of his friend at the party. I knew he already said sorry to me, i've apologize him also, but why i'm still feel so sad when this thing pass my mind???

Trully, i'm feel so upset right now. Upset because i'm lost of control, mad and get anger to other person.

Grandpa, if you know what i've done last nite, you will feel ashame with me :(

I really miss you Grandpa, my biggest wish is to meet you.

What i heard from uncle, aunties and daddy (all of your childrens) is all about your kindess, your wisdom, your job and you have no emotional attitude to your family and to public relationship outside there.

I think Grandma will very happy when live beside you. :)

I need to learn lots from you grandpa, exactly your wisdom. Quite tough to learn this subject, wish you can be my lecture. I can't keep up my emotion control when i was around people that don't have the same point of view with me. and WHY YOU CAN? YOU SUCCESSED!!! But i can't blame the time that we can't meet together.

Oh yeah, your childrens also told me that you have ever be a journalist in one of newspaper media long time ago, when Japanese was take control of our country. And become a diplomator or we can say a  negotiator when there's happen bad situation, also usually have a donation for people with poor financial.

Once again, KUDOS! proud of you Grandpa.

Can i wish? Wish that you'll read my blog and comment my blog probably,hahaha..trully high imagination of this. Thanks for blessing me, Grandpa and Grandma also, wherever you are. (^_^)

I'm feel better after i've review your biography. But i still can't sleep again, waiting until morning.

About my problem that i have, i've already ask for apologize with both of them. I'll have some decisions to conduct to the future. I won't hope anything again to my boyfriend because I knew my point of view totally different with him. so for me, i'll prefer more keep silent when with him, avoid to have a bad discussion again. :( *i think this is one of my tough decision that i've made.

Want to keep silent, be a good listener, keep my ego, look him happy and smile. I'm still love him, Mr.G and don't wanna make him upset, yes, hope he can be like this also, won't make me upset.

"A good listener is very nearly attractive as a good talker. You cannot have a beautiful mind if you do not know how to listen" - The Love Stories. 

Whoa, 06:03 AM right now. still have lots of thinking. Hmm...i think coffee isn't a good beverage to make people can't sleep, but when people facing a problem like me, yes, problem is the best thing that make people can't sleep and keep thinking :))